Journal of a Lockdown No. 33

The breeze is cool outside. The clouds are darkening. It might rain this afternoon. I never would have imagined a month ago that I would have time to even look at the clouds after a hearty homecooked meal. My plans are on hold, and I live daily. I remember Paul's letter to the Ephesians: "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think...." It is my meditation. God is in control.

The thought of an afternoon nap while it's raining outside thrills me. I'll get ready for bed now.

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So happy I got to watch Whisper of the Heart today, a story of childhood love and ambition. The Japanese landscapes and cityscapes are beautiful; if not for the Covid-19 pandemic, I should've gone to Japan for a two-week trip last March. But there were more important things to do--i.e., staying at home

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Months ago I gave Nanay my old new iPhone, and she has since discovered the joy of FaceTime. She used to be indifferent to technology, but she can navigate FaceTime (she now clicks the videocam icon, instead of the phone icon, a lesson that took her months to master), Viber (she video-calls her friends Auntie Inday and Mimi intermittently), YouTube (she watches documentaries on flowers and gardens). Valuing her privacy, she refuses to have a Facebook account.

My mother doesn't care much for phone conversations with her children. We tell her that some mothers always want to hear their children's voices. "Don't you miss us at all?" we would ask; her answer would be a standard "Of course!" But she would abruptly end our calls if her amigas (Auntie Cecil or Jojo or church friends) arrive for afternoon chitchats or if some new show on Netflix or YouTube takes her fancy. She was never a fan of sentimentality. We torture her by being sentimental. Our mother fascinates us to no end.

During afternoons, Manong and I would check up on her. Yesterday, she couldn't be bothered: she was watching Parasite with Sean. (Nanay is a film lover; her friends in dental school would tell stories of how she watched almost all films in cinema during her break time. Her allowance was spent largely on moviehouses. Now it's Netflix or whatever Sean manages to download.)

 I called her today and she said she loved the film but she felt sorry for the rich couple, calling them "good people." She also loved the house in the film.

"Nay, are you sure we don't have a secret basement at home?" I asked, which gave her fits of laughter.

Tonight, she and Sean will be watching 1917. She is partial to war films, love stories, Turkish dramas, Korean soaps, anything with Vilma Santos on, but she has no patience for cartoons and sci-fi, calling them "futuristic." She also loved Game of Thrones, The Handmaid's Tale, and the Lord of the Rings trilogy--so she doesn't hate all fantasy, after all.

When I call again tomorrow, I'm sure she'll ask me what I think of "When Heroes Fly," an Israeli drama series she has been telling me to watch. I will tell her the series seems too heavy, and that I only watch feel-good films these days. My logic escapes her. She insists I watch it anyway. "It's really good--you should watch it!" she would say.

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Coffee and tonic water, my afternoon drink today. So refreshing.