Newness

The wisdom in buying a cheap phone that works is that when it gets lost (which happened to me) or gets stolen (which happened to me, too), you won't suffer as much depression, cry as many buckets of tears, and distrust the entire human race. Sadly, though, that also means you can't take vain pictures of yourself. But console yourself with the fact that your cheap phone also doubles as an alarm clock. Other than call or text, the only other important function of a mobile phone is to wake you up in the morning. And, yes, help you divide 9967.45 by 7.4.

Because division with all those decimal places is, like, hard.